The Oscars: The Clothing of Whoa or Woe 

Mariah Barnes, Staff Writer
Edited by Victoria Chiu

Some of the ensembles worn on the eve of the 87th Oscars were simply divine; while others caused this writer physical pain. So here’s a rundown of the lovely…and the…not-so-lovely outfits from the Oscars. 


The first spotlight goes to 
Rosamund Pike. Simple elegance never goes of style, and with red rosettes and strappy scarlet heel, the look is easily accomplished. Apparently the gown is from the Givenchy Haute Couture line, which is probably far overpriced. This is a relatively useless fact. I give this a solid 8/10, slightly because she looks absolutely stunning, and primarily because she rocks the slit in her dress. 

Next up is the women who I believed was the scary witch from NarniaCate Blanchett. The apparent Curious Case of Benjamin Button starlet showed up wearing a very boring Maison Margiela gown with a giant turquoise necklace. I must say, she does look slightly witch-like. I give this a 5/10 because I find this dress very demure, alas not in a positive way.

Now, Dakota Johnson (the one in the red) isn’t exactly awe-inspiring. It looks relatively Prom-like to me but it’s from Saint Laurent, which means it cost more than my house. I’d give a 7/10 for this get-up because I found the newly-risen star endearing. And honestly, I wanted to include a picture of the 50 Shades of Grey starlet beside her mother; which I found insanely awkward to witness. 

And then there’s Lupita Nyong’o in custom Calvin Klein Collection gown, which shows that beauty can have any weight. Her dress was literally completely covered in pearls. I’m in awe for many reasons; mostly for her name, but the dress helps. She earns a 9/10 because I don’t quite know what else to say. 

 

Naomi Watts proudly states that gutter-style with a little glitter can make anything better. In an Armani Privé (which I have never heard of before) Watts looks like a tasteful brick wall. 4/10 is my verdict because I like the train—or flowy end part if you aren’t with the dress lingo.

 

Zoe Saldana, who shed her blue Avatar skin for a blush Atelier Versace gown, looks like a goddess. Her full figure is beautifully displayed, and I proudly award this look a 10/10; classy and sassy my friends—the ultimate goal. 

 

For the final star, I’d like to present Jennifer Lopez in an Elie Saab gown. I give this a -2/10 because I never really liked Jennifer Lopez, and the 45 year-old woman is spilling a little too much out of the top segment for me. Perhaps her proud children at home accidentally ripped it. 
 
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